WindyCon Wrap-up

Wow, what a weekend! I don't think I've ever been so crazy busy at a convention EVER! But what a way to go!

First off, I was tapped for Filk Second about 3 weeks from the convention, which made me Pixie Wrangler in a whole new sense of the word! Tricky Pixie needed drums? We got them drums. They needed stuff before the con? We got them stuff before the con. And hugging a S00j anytime of the day or night makes for a very happy Lizzie. :)

However, I have to say, Xap was INSTRUMENTAL (no puns, please) in making things work for our Filk Guests this year on the ground. I can never thank her enough for all her efforts in keeping them safe and sane, to say nothing of taking care of me in my frazzledness. Thank you, sweetie.

Tomboat. WHAAAAAAAA, Tomboat! Combo of Toyboat and Tom Smith in the key of HOLY CHEESE AWESOME!! I really hope they got this recorded, because WOW, that was GREAT!!! And I got pulled up on stage to sing one number at the last second which only freaked me out ENTIRELY because I really don't feel like I'm on par with these maniacs yet. Yet...we'll see.

Also got to see Heather Dale, which is always such a joy. Heather's a dear, her beau Ben Deschamps is a treasure, and they called ericcoleman and I out on stage for getting them to come after Strowlers in St. Louis last September. SO glad they were able to make it. Currently in Super Secret ninja meetings with them to get them back to Chicagoland very soon. *CONSPIRING*

Then, of course, TRICKY PIXIE. Holy stick monkeys on fire, TRICKY PIXIE. Cannot thank Vlad enough for agreeing to have them as our Guests. The concert was nothing short of pheonominal, despite the early onset of pixies in the sound equipment. A situation handled BEAUTIFULLY by out tech guys, gundo, our Filk Head and fearless leader, dave_iversen, dracos666, lonotter, Jerusha, and everyone who helped out. You guys are the ones who made this whole thing happen. Thank you all so so much.

As for me, I'm only here because of the stellar works of Xap and ericcoleman and raven_ap_morgan. Those three kept me from falling to pieces on more than one occasion over the course of the weekend, even going so far as walking me into con suite Sunday afternoon and ensuring I sit my little tail down and REST for the first time really all weekend. You three have my undying gratitude. Love you all. I really do.

OH! And I supported the London Bid for the 2014 WorldCon. Did YOU?

So much love. So many wonderful people. SO much music. SO much sleep to catch up on. Worth it. SO BLOODY WORTH IT.

Moments of Mayham: the UGLY Hat

I tried to tell myself it wasn't that bad. I really did. then I took a solid look at the hat I've been knitting for a couple days and realized, "Nope, this is by far the ugliest hat I have ever knitted EVER. See for yourself:



Sad, isn't it? but it's also found a home with Emily Klik of Synphoria, so that's happy making. she's fabulous, and this hat will simply be swept into her awesome and therefore BE awesome. I'm ok with that.

We're so fucked. Well done, America

Friend posted this - "On my way home tonight I heard a woman interviewed at a poll in NC. She voted for O in '8. Since then she lost her job, draws unemployment, is going back to school & has no health insurance. So this time she's voting a straight R ticket. R's won't extend unemployment, didn't back increased Pell grants, want to repeal health care & have 0 ideas for jobs. So that's who she voted for."

That sums up last night pretty well. I’ve seen a few moments of American stupidity in my day, but this was a pure moment. And we have only ourselves to blame.

Those of us who dismiss the Tea Party and their idiocy are in fact correct. They are idiots. They’re also well-funded and LOUD. And that volume alone gets the attention of the sheeple, not the facts. Organizations like NOM and Concerned Women for America and Focus on the Family have raised their voices high in outright lies, and people believed. The facts didn’t matter because the people with facts didn’t wave their flags high and hard and fast. We have ourselves to blame.

Matt Yglesias has the best tweet in reaction to the networks calling teabagger Rand Paul as the Senate winner from Kentucky: "Finally we have a Senator willing to stand up the tyranny of the Civil Rights Act!"

And our fearless leader? Our fierce Advocate? Yeah, about him. Obama had the cards to play. He did something 2 years ago that made the world take notice. He took some of the lowest voting demographics in this nation and mobilized them not only to vote, but to gather together their not inconsiderable resources for one common goal. It was a firestorm, and it got him elected by a LANDSLIDE. That and Palin is an imbecile, but that’s a post for another day.

But where has our advocate gone? Where is the man I voted for 2 years ago? Where was he during the election season? Covering his ass and doing damage control in the last 3-4 weeks for his party AFTER barely lifting a finger to help those same demographics that made sure he got elected. *sigh* DADT will end on his watch, huh?

Iowa is where my main concern lies now. The judges who got ousted by Tea Party lies and who will be replaced by TRUE activist judges who will NOT uphold the laws? We're all feeling this one. We did you wrong and for that I am sorry. the tide has turned, and dark days are ahead for us.

Well done, Democrats. You had a powerplay in your hands, and you did nothing with it. Now you’re got a fight on your hands you weren’t ready for when you HAD power. These next two years are going to be very, very hard.

Frogs are falling from the sky... and other treasures of meteorology

It’s been a roller coaster couple of weeks. Pythonacon = WIN!!! SO much win. Had a wonderful time with raven_ap_morgan and ericcoleman and xap and bunch of amazing people for the Monty Python-filled birthday of Gundo! I finally met WSPA-3. I have a FAN in WSPA-3. SO much mischief! Fairly certain ericcoleman is shaking his head right now wondering exactly what he’s done. Awww, it’s not so bad. He’s simply unleashed an unstoppable tidal wave of cute. That’s all…

P-con was incredible. Funny and heart-warming and served as the unofficial debut point for Cheshire Moon! We debuted ‘Widow’s Garden,’ the song ericcoleman and I wrote at Strowlers in St Louis a few weeks back. *shiver* We wrote a song. We’re a band. Breathing. Breathing. SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

….and then I got sick. Violently sick. Sick to the point of considering a Dr. visit and I’m out of sick time kind of sick. It got better, but my tummy is still a bit fragile. Blarg!

BUT! So much happening soon! Duckon is on the move and getting off the ground. Very excited, and it’s meshing well. Getting to know a lot of really wonderful people in fandom. WindyCon is RIGHT around the corner, where s00j will be kicking Faerie into high gear with Tricky Pixie! You have to go. It’s a RULE.

And can I just say TOMBOAT!!! I’ve been going to rehearsal, and jumpin’ jeepers on a cracker with cheese, this is going to be GOOOOOOD.

Furr Fest is coming up as well. Belly dance Panda, GO! Vampires and unicrons, oh MY!

Then on to Thanksgiving and everything after. I look at the November calendar and cry a little…..

Duckon and everything after

And a voice cried out from the fannish heavens saying, 'It is done.' I have been named Vice Chair for DucKon. 4 years attached to the first Chicago Scifi con I ever attended. What have I done?!! There, I've said it. I feel better. Except I also feel like I have a huge rubber duck on my back as opposed to the perverbial monkee. But whatever.

Furries are back, people! Working on an actual furry track, guests and all. I'm also trying really hard not to become a drill sergent. I know how I come off, and it's important to me that I don't come off as a dictator or too much of a hardass. I don't mean to, I just want to get the job done smoothly, on time, and under budget. That's the goal.

And can I just say, FILK!! A would-be filker is a stone's throw from the helm. I don't think this has been lost on a few minds. We'll see how this goes, but I hope to help rebuild a few bridges and forge new rivers, letting voices sing and instruments ring happily through the halls of Duckon once more.

And now I sit back and watch my free time burn like a Wicker Man on the Nevada Desert. *sigh* Pass the marshmallows?

Grinning Moonbeams

Grinning Moonbeams

It’s been a BUSY few weeks.

Strowlers was incredible! So many new faces now so dear. Understanding and joy has with old friends. Roads braved and paths traveled holding hands with loved ones. So many songs and stories shared. And one song in particular still rings in my head and heart. As some of you know, Eric Coleman and I have started a band! We are Cheshire Moon (Thanks, Xap!), and Saturday afternoon at Strowlers, we wrote our first song: Widow’s Garden. *shiver* Still gives me chills to think about it!

Tricky Pixie was incredible as always, backed up by GB mojo for a HYSTERICAL rendition of ‘Alligator in the House’ (Eric didn’t know I could double as an air-raid siren. He knows now.) and a heart pounding ‘Firebird’s Child.’ Saying goodbye has never been so hard as to let go of so many new friends.

And now back home to more incredible lyrics running through my head. And these ones aren’t going away! Verse has in the past had a tendency to come and go so quickly I barely have time to get it down. Now the words wait, wait for the melody they need to set them free. For Eric and I to sit down together and set them free in song. Set them into the moonlight and starlight, into the sunlight and beating rain. Almost as if the world has gathered its misfit toys and surrounded us in their stories, waiting only for the breath and chord they seek to bring them to life.

And yes, there is a wondrous man in my life. And he comes with his own soundtrack! A partner is crimes musical and not, I feel almost bumbling in my giddiness.

But real-life has come calling, and brings with it more than my fair share of mundania. I still don’t know if I have a job at the end of next week. *pout* I hate the waiting. I’m also becoming more heavily involved in DucKon next year which has me freaked and excited at the same time. And on top of it all, we’re 6 weeks from WindyCon, which means costuming-palooza and last-minute prep for Windy and MFF. Whee!!!

Beck in the Saddle again....

Ok, I know I’m a touch late to the table on this one, but I have to say I never thought I’d see this. After all the work, all the sacrifices of life and legislature, we’re still arguing about this. What. The. Fuck.

Let me take a step back. As some of you may know, I have a rather severe distaste for racism. Call it ingrained. And yet I stand absolutely aghast day after day at the constant blathering of this so-called ‘Tea Party’ and the sewage they use for said tea. Now, don’t get me wrong, the in-fighting currently being waged on the right about who is in fact right who’s a socialist librul-lovin’ commy pinko is delicious. But now we come to one of the icons of this movement: Glenn Beck.

Aw, Glenn. How you long for attention. Long for it so much you’ll say literally anything and cry rivers of tears for it, regardless of merit or taste or honor. And yet THIS is what you would tout as your motive for organizing a convention of hate in DC on the anniversary or the speech of a man truly worthy of a term like honor. Dr. Martin Luther King stood before a gathering of thousands to express a dream. Now you stand on that same ground and pile mountain after mountain of unchecked hate.

I pity you. I detest pity; I find it a font of weakness and insecurity that is not only unnecessary but loathsome. And yet you are all these things, and so do I pity you. Arrogance has never come in a more perfect package of self-righteous bigotry with a pretty little bow of unrepentant lies. You speak of people trying to silence your truth. You wouldn’t know truth if it hit you in the face with a wet fish.

But alas, Becky boy is only a swollen node on the groin of a much bigger problem: somewhere along the way we’ve managed to slink backwards. There is still a percentage of people in this country who believe are President is Muslim. And they care WHY, exactly? Oh wait, because ALL Muslims are terrorists, including the ones that share the vast majority of their beliefs and values with Christianity and Judaism. Namely ALL of them. Riiiight. Anyone ever notice that? 3 major monotheistic doctrine-based religions, one main (shared) deity, 75% the same rhetoric, and yet all they want to do is kill each other. Wait, what?

Back to my point, the state of Texas wants to change history itself to suit its purposes of fear-mongering and cultivated hatred, a tactic used by many an oppressive regime, right down to the Inquisition. Congressmen and women from all over the country are vying for power on the basis of fear of their own constituents. The Constitution is being put on trial because it doesn’t fit the self-aggrandizing agendas of the far Right (spelled ‘Reich’ for those of you keeping score. If you haven’t looked up the actually tenants of Socialism, you might want to. Note how closely they relate to the far RIGHT as opposed the Left. Just a thought.) Xenophobia has found a foothold in the ‘Land of the free and home of the brave.’ Unless your brown. Or not Evangelical Christian. Or anything other than starkly heterosexual. Then you’re just fucked.

How DARE you. As someone of Native American stock I can’t help but laugh hysterically at the gall of these people. Those whose heretical, religious-persecution-fleeing ancestors came to this land and then orchestrated the systematic genocide of indigenous people over the course of centuries are suddenly AGHAST at the audacity of anyone not like you in your midst. And simply because there was no law against it, it was fine to kill over hundreds of thousands of people just to further their own goals.

I grant you, some of my own ancestors came to this land in this way. But let’s take a moment, as a whole, and refuse to let history be our guide and not our warning system. History, not what they teach in Texas. History, that which is so soaked in blood and nightmares that it’s hard to look at most days. History, that which we too will one day be a part of. Is this the mark that we leave, a pock mark so deep it scars over to the point that a hundred years from now we too are scoffed at as short-sighted fools?

Nah, I like to form my own thoughts. But thanks for offering. Now FUCK OFF so the grown ups can something done.

MuseCon Musings (MuseCon 0)

I was really pleased. The programming was non-pressured and I learned some nifty new things (although I need another hobby like I need a pig on my head). Of course, now I have an itch to teach a beginning knitting class next year. And Gundo recruited me for Filk next year (SO HAPPY!!).

Speaking of Gundo, Toyboat RAWKED!! Rawked in wrong and wonderful ways. Songs that break people are always such a joy.

Hotel is really nice and cozy, even with the atrium lobby and elevator setup (yipe, heights). Roomed with Eric Colemanand Xap which was loads of fun. WSPA-2 also roomed with us, which made for way too many hysterical moments.

But all kidding aside, that boy can PLAY. It’s going to very interesting to watch as he gets better because he’s already oh my wow musically. Shiny shiny. :)

Hung out with lots of great people, including, Adam and Michaeland a bunch of mega super awesome people.

Got a lot of good ideas for projects and neat stuff (Xap taught me how to do shuttle tatting!!), and I think I want to start my own beehive. I know, allergy, but still, attended a really awesome panel on the subject, and it’s really interesting. And I got a bee on my ankle at the train station and he didn’t sting me! I like when the universe sends glowing neon signs that say, “Yeah, this is ok. Relax.” Now all I need is a backyard and a garden….

Had a great time in filk circle singing with Eric, and Gundo joined me on “Follow that Road” by Anne Hills. JOY! “Swamp Witch” was so eerie and fun. Must do that one again. That and more. More, more, more…

Overall: B+ Quite pleased, and I can’t wait for Sooj to be there next year!!! I get to be Filk helper with Sooj as our GOH. And Eric and I will likely be singing together again. And and and and… My life is so fucking GOOD…

I did the right thing. So why do I feel like a swamp rat that ran over a garden snake with an alligator bulldozer on fire?

I just told a guy I care about that I can't associate with him anymore. I illustrated why, as I have on several occasions before. He and I have gone over these points of contention more than once, and he has refused to change his behavior. He keeps professing to not understand what he's doing wrong even when I spell it out for him in crayon. I tell him no, he takes it at the time, then brings the subject up against mere days (sometimes HOURS) later to see if anything has changed when I SPECIFICALLY ASKED HIM TO DROP IT.

He's not a bad person. He's a wonderful man 90% of the time. Its that 10% that kills me, and I can't invest that kind of emotion in him anymore. I'm out of spoons.

So, we had that talk. he cried. I almost did, too, but I kept it together. I'm here trying not to feel like I just ruined his life by making the choice I had to make for me. Blarg.

Being a grown up is hard. Poly is HARDER. Let's go to the spa...

My First Rush Concert

Base drum hits my chest like cannon fire. A voice like windswept brushfire scorches my very skin. Must be a Rush concert.

Every heartbeat a bassline echo, but I am not caged. Barefoot and half-deaf with liquid joy. At the foot on Monsters, I am free.

Rhythmic pulsing pulls at my throat, and from it spins words I know by heart and soul and spleen. Yes, spleen.

Intermission. My ears are bleeding colored lights. I stand at the feet of children sprung from the pulsating forehead imagination. Dreams made flesh.

Synthesizer fever dreams, smokescreen light show, and three men captivating the soul of air itself by lighting it on fire.

20-armed steampunk drum robot freak of nature! Wait, that’s Neil every day…

My hearing will come back when its not hung over. Worth it. Utterly worth it.

Duckon 19.... QUACK!

That was different! Good different, weird different, but different. Sound checks and floor shows, and sight gags, oh my! And dang it people, what’s a girl in a red hood have to do to get a wolf around here?! ;)

Overall it was a lot of fun. I overbooked myself all to hell, but even that turned out ok. I get press ganged into a panel Friday, entitle ‘How to Pick Up Geek Girls.’ It was a basic explanation of do’s and don’t’s in thought process and action when it comes to girls at sci-fi cons. By far my favorite line of thought was “If I didn’t want you to look at me, I wouldn’t dress like this.” To say nothing of Anejo’s addition to the conversation from the audience: “Always stick the dismount.” Subtitle: How you break up with someone is just as important as how you pick someone up. Anejo, dear one, COME UP WITH A BETTER WAY TO SAY THAT. Thank you. 

Wydlekyttin’s birthday party was beyond fabulous. It was comfortable overall and gave a lot of people a place to relax as well as help celebrate the wondrous birthday girl. Who looked HOT in the Poisen Ivy dress I made her. Yeah. My life, it does not suck.

Tear down was… FUN. Closing ceremonies was a Blast if a bit less the spectacle that we’d hoped for. But we 4 pulled it off with usual con gusto and fun, and Deacon Drew has left the building. Go, Slayer!

This marks my second Duckon, and I must say, my love of filk has been fanned into a passion not only for the music but the plethora of wonderful people that make it. SO amazingly happy to have been able to share in the laughter and beauty and presence of these musicians and what they do.

The con chair is dead! Long live the con chair!

That was fast.

Rand Paul is now saying he WOULD have voted for the 1964 Civil Rights Act after 2 days of ridicule. http://tinyurl.com/2df9vs6

You wanted to be important. You wanted to be a contender. Then you opened your mouth and managed to piss off over 80% of the people of this country. What did you EXPENT, Rand?

But oh no, poor sad panda, he’s trying to play the ‘victim of the liberals’ card now. Oh no, he wouldn’t ever do anything so heinous as say Civil Rights are bad and HE’s not a racist. Yeah ya are, Rand. If this is what you truly stand for, having NEVER READ THE 1964 CIVIL RIGHTSD ACT TO BEGIN WITH’ (See previous post for the video. He admits this directly and without provocation), you are a racist. A racist pandering to racists trying to be an almost entirely racist political party that no one is taking seriously because they are truly that batshit. THESE are your people. You are what you hang with. DEAL. You have only yourself to blame.

Really, Rand?

Ok, this is just too much. So, Rand Paul (I refuse to use the title of ‘Dr’ here because any man of this nature needs to be ejected from any professional environment that ALLOWS for the title of ‘Dr’) just won the Kentucky republican Primary for Congress. G9od for him. He won by a landslide. Also good for him. He is also against the Federal government having say over private businesses not being able to discriminate thanks to the 1964 Civil Rights Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act.

WHAT NOW?

Oh but it’s ok, because he DOES believe there should be no discrimination of any kind in GOVERNMENT jobs and THAT is what the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT should have say over, not local businesses because its going against the rights of local business owners. Yeah, couldn’t say that with a straight face if I WANTED to.

Ok, is it me, or was this ‘local business discrimination’ issue exactly WHY the Civil Rights Act and ADA were put into place? Restaurants not serving Blacks or any non-white skin color, separate but equal (HA!) school systems, public AND private (so there’s no distinction to be made for who does and does not receive state funds), to say nothing of treated by law enforcement, city zoning commissions (all governed locally), voting officials, and do I need to GO ON? ( I could. Unlike Texas, I actually paid attention in ‘real life, no seriously this happened in THIS COUNTRY’ US history class.)

Thankfully, I don’t have to. HE SAYS SO HIMSELF: http://bit.ly/cCux5w

Look, Rand, I appreciate you have a Tea Party to pander to, and that’s your choice. But you have now gone from ridiculous to advocating that discrimination should be LEGAL while your well-fed Caucasian self tries to get into elected office because you got endorsed by Fox (fantasy)News. People like you are the reason my parents had to change STATES OF RESIDENCE to get away from the shit they were getting for being a mixed race couple. People like you are the reason why I can’t go back to my home state of Arizona right now for fear of getting stopped by a cop to ask "Papiere, Bitte" because I look vaguely indigenous so I MUST be illegal.

Fuck you, you fucking fucker.

State of Shame

I have never been more embarrassed to say that I was born in Arizona. I didn't think that was possible after having the walking dead John McCain, the governor of AZ at the time, walked into public and open his mouth during the 2008 election. That was bad. THEN to bring the idiot that is Plain into the picture? I was mortified. And NOW this. A law that basically makes racial profiling a legal practice for the 'enforcement' of immigration laws. Excuse me, AZ, are you sure you can hear me all the way back there in the 40's?!

I've been mistaken for Latina more times than I care to talk about because its both funny and a little weird, but I don't feel comfortable going back to my own home state for fear of being stopped on the street and having a cop ask for my papers. I'm pretty sure I'd send him to the hospital, and it may well be the same hospital that has my birth record if all this happen sin Tucson. I am sick to the teeth about this, but I must say I am proud to see Tucson and Flagstaff standing up and saying they want no park of this. Cities suing their own state over legislature. Let's see how long this law REALLY lasts. Constitutionality, go!

Of an evening stroll...

I was on my way home tonight by foot, naturally, going the same way home my feet always take me. I don't know why I looked up, but suddenly a figure caught my eye. Catlike by round, a Racoon lumbered down the sidewalk. He stopped a moment and looked back at me, paying no head to the couple moving forward across the street and beyond. He watched me watching him, then wnet on his way, fluffy tail and glowing eyes daring me to follow as he waddled along. I did.

I followed the fuzzy bandit to an black iron fence alongside a rather nice looking apartment building. The kind you might nto associate with a racoon's hiding place, but to each their own, even in the animal kingdom. He paused one last time, watching me watching him. I told him I cold not follow him further tonight. a blink, and he was gone.

I continued down this new path, new architecture to take in in the quiet night, when silver light caught my eye. the moon, just coming into fullness, lay over my new path, leading me on, all but taking my hand for the journey. I wondered that She would take such time for me, but I smiled back at Her as I walked, content that she thought of me even if only for a moment.

and a moment was all it took to follow Her glow to a tiny house, gently situated back from the urban street, of no consequence to any but those who know to look. Lamplight on the cobled path to the door, the sound of running water heralding a starnge presence, palpable yet elusive. I wonder at seeing it again without the Moon to Guide me...

I wandered on only to have a black cat emerge from the streetlamp night, well-fed and fluffy in the last of his winter coat. He paused only a moment before rambling on in his sure-fotted kitty cat way.

A corner turned, homeward bound, I was caught enthralled, a garden of light. Tiny litted flowers, garish colors coming together in a goldwash of light, happily playing across dew-strewn grass, new leaves in colors only moonlight and streetlight can show.

Gentle intrigues all as the Moon rolls on, and the tides roll in, and the nodding night wind blows. But why the Lady fishes the streets, only the Lady knows...

Apple's Revenge: We all get it in the end

As many of you are no doubt aware, an interesting story hit the news late last week about a blogger, Jason Chen of Gizmodo, who paid $5000 for a ‘found’ prototype of the 4G iPhone that was left in a bar by one of the researchers. His home was raided by police in san Mateo county and he could be facing felony charges.

This brings up a series of arguments and thought processes when it comes to bloggers. California does have laws in place that shield journalists from revealing their sources, but are bloggers journalists? What does and does not qualify as journalism?

As someone who was once bouncing around the idea of a career in journalism, this strikes a deep cord in me. Free speech is in fact protected under the First amendment, but how far does that really extend? There’s Free speech, then there’s threatening the life of the President (you WILL do Federal time for this, even if you don’t mean it. After Kennedy, the Treasury Department does not mess around). There’s free of speech, then there’s trade secrets, state secrets, and medical information. Even if you have access to this information, sharing it, regardless of free speech laws, incurs penalty by law.

So where is the line drawn? This is something people have been kicking around the past few years and the blogosphere has expanded into view-shifting territory. There’s a blog for quite literally ever palette, and that leads to many of the same questions that the internet has faced about free speech, privacy, and in the end, accountability.

My opinion, what Jason Chen did is stupid. Just plain stupid, to say nothing of questionable. I mean, whatever happened to finding something dropped in a bar and giving it to the bartender in a ‘lost and found’ type gesture? I appreciate iPhones aren’t cheap since I KNOW what I just paid for mine, but doing anything else is theft, by law. Taking an object, regardless of intent, and reconfiguring it for your own purposes is theft in the eyes of the law, as it should be. Can Chen then be held accountable for willfully buying stolen property? It’s entirely possible.

This is going to be an interesting story to follow, not only for the sake of bloggers, but journalists in general. Lines will be drawn by this criminal suit, even if a civil suit is not filed.

Convention Attention!

Yup, it’s that time again. Con season, though it didn’t take MUCH of a break, it’s about to break me in new and wonderful ways. THIS is why you should never let anyone see that you’re responsible. They start putting you in charge…

Shibaricon – I’m really looking forward to this. A lot of good panels, some of which I’ll actually get to attend between security duties and making sure the heads of security do things like eat and sleep. It’s always so nice when my job is to make sure other people don’t fall over. :) I also need to pick up a ton of rope beforehand to make sure I have enough for later on in the weekend. Can’t show up to one of Midori’s panels without supplies. That’d just be rude. That and if a certain someone decides to do something stupid at this particular event, I need enough extra length to leave him strung up like a piñata, but that’s another entry entirely…

Duckon – Ah, Duck. The gateway drug of Chicago cons. I’m bringing in 2 newbs this year, which should make things interesting if Eric tries to pull me up on stage again. That’s also what I get for opening my mouth in front of Eric. Anywho, it’s all about the party. That’s right, it’s Kyttin’s birthday, and the resident 1920’s bouncer will be working the door of Speakeasy central. And all that only after I get 3 Batman villainess costumes done ala Sew-a-palooza 2 weekends from now. I love my life. :)

Faerie Worlds – honestly, it doesn’t look like it’s happening this year. With London next spring and everything else going on, I have to cut something I’m not actually responsible for facilitating, and I do believe this is where the line gets drawn. Shame, I was looking forward to it, though I do hope they get the layout fixed this year. Having performers in direct sunlight in the middle of the afternoon in August? Really, are you TRYING to kill these people? And now I’ll have to find somewhere else to get my costuming together for Windycon. Bristol, here I come!

Bristol – annual Ren Faire, always a pleasure, especially when it’s not hot enough to fry human brains in their pressure cooker skulls. The visual is interesting, but in practice it really just smells. I’m likely going twice and only twice this year. Once to scout and once to buy for costumes. We’ll see. I also HAVE to see Kamala. I’m out of several oils, and I need her to construct one for me. I’ll see about opening weekend to put in my thoughts for an order. Anyone care to join me?

Pixies in St. Louis – I have no earthly idea how I’m getting there OR getting back, to say nothing of where I’ll stay, but I’m going to try my worst! Pixies in October. What could be better? Besides, you know, lavender pudding and pillow fights in green wigs…

WindyCon – Oh, dear fandom, why do you keep trying to stomp me into oblivion? Tricky Pixie is the awesomesauce that got cooked up in the kitchen of Win and curry and fiendish siren bliss, but getting there may well kill me. I have 2 costumes to finish, Vlad’s and my own, and I STILL don’t have his wings prepared. I need an engineer for wings this large. I wonder is my cousins are Purdue are doing anything this summer… (evil grin laced with baked goods). To say nothing of the Con Comm juggling act being committed by the Con chair. I love getting ringside seats for a good slugfest, but not when it involves my boyfriend. *sigh*

Midwest Furrfest – Once again, responsibility rears its annoying little head. I got tapped for Dealer’s room, which is VERY good if I’m going to helping run things for WindyCon in the future. I dare not speculate, but I do love furries so. And it gives me an excuse to do more of what I love: keep the head of Security from falling over due to exhaustion or hunger. Whee!!!

Continental divide… and road trips

So, as some of you may already know, my girlfriend, Kyttin (WyldeKyttin on LJ) has been going through a mess recently. Her older brother, Rich went into the hospital, and we were getting some very, VERY bad medical news. So we hopped a flight down to see what was what, and promptly got dumped into a Springer-worthy power struggle. Ah, the wonders of man (or in this case woman) and the need to never ever share anything with anyone even if what they are doing is the worst thing possible and people who know what the hell they’re doing aren’t allowed anywhere within range. (breath) Yeah, it was a bitchfest, but in the end I was happy to be by Kyttin’s side. I just wish driving over the continental divide hadn’t been quite so stomach-dropping. Felt so bad for Vlad…

And as these situations tend to, it brought up my own thoughts on medical need and what might happen to me if it was me laid out in a bed without means to dictate my thoughts. It always seems to take looking into someone else’s peril to recognize our own, so I’ll bite this hook and see where it takes me once I clear the water’s edge.

I’ve never wanted to be kept on life support. It just feels… without purpose. If I can’t get out a sarcastic quip now and then, there’s no reason to keep me around simply because heart and lungs are still going. I’ve also decided that my sister, Alexis, the perpetual pre-med who has more knowledge than most acting residents, is the best equipped to handle the task of corralling both our family and certain persons of fandom in a time of crisis. Gods help her, however, if she has to do both at ONCE…

Of course, all this is going on paper and being appropriately notarized and blessed and smudged and so on, but I figure a relatively secure public forum that very few people read of care about is a good place to archive these musings. Or let them putrefy, one of the two...

Once again, I’m far too tired for this kind of talk, so I’ll leave you with this tidbit that my dear Raven and the lost girls of House Cerulia inspired in me on my trip to Seattle recently:

“Are you all right?”

“Headachy with forgotten epiphany and heedlessness.”

Blink. Blink. “Cup of tea will fix that right up.”

“Have I told you how much I love you even though I’m an unspeakable horror?”

“Yes, but you’re MY unspeakable horror. Sugar?”

Lost girls. They are made of win and pie and pirate. Ravens are made of song and story and curry, you see….

So passeth a woman of integrity and grace…

… who knew how to ROCK a hat.

Dorothy Height was a pioneer in the pursuit of civil rights for all, not only blacks but all oppressed peoples. "Civil rights are civil rights. There are no persons who are not entitled to their civil rights. We have to recognize that we have a long way to go, but we have to go that way together." - speaking to the Human Rights Campaign in 1997. She died April 20th at the age of 98.

A truly brilliant, passionate, yet understated lady of grace and charm who was more than willing to step up and fight for what she knew to be right. May we all be as brave, as fashion conscious, and as resilient in word and deed as this lady was.

Anne Coulter, put the crack pipe down....

Excuse me? Since when does the walking hate crime herself get to call victim here? She was scheduled to speak at the university of Ottowa, and they had to CANCEL her engagement since the protest outside was bordering on riot. The entire reasons she’s calling foul here is because the University official overseeing her speech sent her an email stating that she should use ‘respect’ when metering her words because the hate crime laws are more strict in Canada than they are here.

Ok, so this guy is trying to be nice and warn her off of getting arrested and causing an international incident because of her inability to not spout lies, and she’s bitching? Classy, Anne, in your classic classy fashion, you hopeless degenerate scarecrow.

This is just one more symptom of the festering cancer that is what’s left of the GOP. They are in shambles as a group, fractioning off within the confines of the far right into varies grades of violence, lunacy, and bigoted hypocrisy. They honestly will fight long and hard against anything this President says or does, even if it is exactly what the people need/want. They care nothing for the people, they care about telling the people what they want and need, not letting them make up their own minds based on actual fact. It’s amazing to me the amount of abject bullshit these people will just make up on the fly and call it fact. From the birthers (wow, fail) to the Tea Baggers (still laughing) to the right wing in general, these people are dangerous. Their ideas are poison, and they sit gleefully steeped in their own hatred, refusing anything even resembling reason.

Then you have the riot inciters, the Rush’s and Glenn’s and Anne’s of the far right that love nothing more than being loud and obnoxious and spouting absolute shit, anything to get attention, money, and make people squirm. There’s a word for that: Bully. And we all know how I feel about bullies. I request no violence toward these people. I request only that they be held responsible for the words they say, for the hate they spread, and for the people who’s lives are trampled under the tiny but spiked heel that is the Wingnut Militia within the US. They were more than happy to let the government have full reign when it was their side on top. Now the tiny barking minority is crying out for justice. Justice, you say? Let’s put you on trial for the murder of abortion doctors, the erosion of the middle class, the protesting at the funerals of soldiers (Westboro is a whole other line of thought that I will not dive into this round. Way too angry), screaming hate while their families grieve when all these men and women did was DIE FOR YOUR FREEDOM. Fuck you very much.

See, this is why I'm not allowed to have Henry Rollins' children. Short, highly intelligent, foul-mouthed, ANGRY, tattooed children with no neck to speak of who would take over the whole damn planet. no one needs little clones of me running around. Humanity just isn't ready for that much bottled rage. Vacation blog to follow soon! :)

Here it comes again.....

The sun has risen, the Fog has not. I listened in the Dreamtime to its rhythm and its rhythm, floating on its grey waves even as I stay anchored. A rock in a silver sea, the graffiti left behind a scar, a story, a memory, a song. It took me by the hand as it washed away the world. I wonder what else it has to share?

The sun is obscured, as if the day is merely and afterthought. The waterbeat rhythm still shifts my feet. I want to walk it back to its source. Not yet.

It hangs above the remaining snow and newly revealed grasses. It knows what we are coming to understand. All things end, and all things come back, and the stories between are worth telling, worth listening to, worth keeping. So too, then, are we.

Here it comes .....

The Fog rolls in like dragon’s breath, thick and rich and sweet. In the short walk from the train it has cast over the streets and between the buildings, so dense its hard to know that stranger drifting out of the grey mist before me. Is he from around here’ Does he know where here is? Do i? Curious.

The dreams com slow and wild, drifting in and out of the moving grey like figures on strings, the silver curtain the only veil between our worlds. What becomes of the ones caught still walking when the Fog lifts? This is the kind of night where people disappear and reappear at will, though by their own or another’s is a matter of perspective.

Ashen and expectant, it rolls on, beyond and through me. Dare I follow, either to its source of along its journey? Nah, I stay behind this time, drinking in the newcomers and watching that which is taken drift along, freer than it will ever be again. Perhaps one day I too will join it, but this night is not for me. I close the door just to, letting the Fog roll in as it Will. What stories have you brought to share tonight, Old Wise One? What more have you seen in the wide Worlds?

White Ribbon, White Trees

So, saw ‘White Ribbon’ yesterday. AMAZING film. It’s the kind that movie buffs will be analyzing for years to come. It’s about a small village in Germany just prior to World War I. a series of strange happenings, nothing of the supernatural, simply tragic and close together, spin the village into a quiet frenzy of suspicion and conspiracy. The film ends just at the beginning of the War, and many of the deep-seated tensions of this village mirror those of the region at the time. It’s a microcosm/macrocosm mirroring that is truly lovely. I just wish the damn movie had as ENDING.

This is the second time in as many weeks I’ve come across a story that has no ending. I’m currently torturing myself with the “Incarnations of Immortality” series by Piers Anthony. Book 3 , no freakin’ ending. Almost as bad as the movie “Sex and Breakfast.” It’s rash inducing how badly that sucks. The story (in the book, not the movie) is wonderful, the world he builds is exquisite in it’s simplicity laid over such a complex framework that is beautifully easy to grasp. It’s just such a shame about his writing…

But be that as it may, the company of yesterday was excellent. Intelligent and sarcastic in delicious ways, all while being warm and snuggly. Quite a pleasure, one I wish I could share more of, but alas, I longed for a social life and got one. Blast it all.

And yet, for all my doubts and worries and trials and schedules, all I can do is watch the snow dust onto the streets as I wait for my laundry to be done so I can sleep. Time passes so slowly as the white dances down from the sky. I wonder what its like, to live so short a life. To fall from the heavens to the earth in a single bound, carried to your resting place by the winds.

The Leaving

And so begins another adventure. Balance is a thing of perspective, yet as perspective evolves, balance must be maintained. Or tipped entirely on its ear, one of the two.

So, regardless of practically untenable (and thankfully soon to be EXITING) roommates, I’ve managed to get settled. It took me almost a year, and the roommates didn’t help at all, but I’ve managed at last to settle in to what has become my own piece of life. And yet I’m antsy. Expectant. Wanting. As usual, the Leaving is creeping in again.

Catherine Valente actually articulated this better than I could ever hope to in her book, In The Night Garden. She spoke of a sensation unignorable, a calling of sea and adventure and movement, called the Leaving. It has followed me most of my adult life, this need to go, to see, to find, to move about. It took me across state lines, into the arms of various lovers, and yet always my eyes on the horizon, westward, wanting. And this is the first time in my life I’ve ever truly want to drop kick the Leaving. I don’t want to go.

I know where I would go, which doesn’t make this any easier. I’m visiting there next month, seeing friends and brothers and sisters, comrades in trickster mischief, set in the Pacific Northwest, 4 hours by plane away from everything I have built and know and love. And yet how much I would be leaving behind if I DON’T go. I’m leaving something behind either way, visiting instead of living. Yet which family do I cherish, and which do I allow to fly free? Part of me has made the choice, brushing aside illogical, irrelevant fancy, giving way to tenable joy, to tangible existence. And yet the Leaving hungers. It longs for the road, longs for the freedom of complete autonomy.

And this is where my being wants to say fuck it and go on tour. I’ve been considering putting an ad in Craig’s List for quite a while, something to the tune of, “Singer Seeking Songwriter.” My music has always been such an integral part of my life, and yet I don’t give it enough attention. I realized that at Capricon just 2 weekends ago, singing on stage with Eric Coleman. It made me realize how much I want this, to be able to share this gift, to let it warm the hearts of those around me, their smiles and laughter warming mine.

It’s a long way to find out who we are. The Waiting sucks.

Been a bit...

Maybe its just been a while. Maybe it was the warning received. Or maybe I’m just being stood up for the second itme in my life. All are possible, which irritates me. But all are also possible in combination, which makes me stabby. And ramble. Another Tanlge. Shit.

I suppose I just need to relax. I’m nervous for a couple good reasons and a lot of lousy ones. The freakish paranoia set in a little while ago, my mind conjuring wild scenes of car acciednets and zombie invasions and alien abductions, keeping my friend from meeting me for dinner. Not a fan of my mind when it’s like this.

LATER:

So instead, I’m an idiot. Surprise! I love miscommunication. Makes for the first blog-like thought process I’ve had in months. Could be the start of something. Could also be exhaustion feeding insanity, but what of that?

Being silly has it’s good points. But lessons wrought of silliness tend to end either in zombies or strange tea parties. This one will end in music. Dirge or symphony remains to be seen.