Vegan…Survivalist…Wabbits!

Vegans are making me crazy. I appreciate that they have a strong standing on what they are and are not willing to tolerate when it comes to animal cruelty. And the fact that they make this statement with their very lifestyle is amazingly brilliant. I support that fully. What I can’t get behind is their being so disgusted with people around them who don’t feel the same way. Just because I wear leather and fur and eat meat doesn’t make me a puppy killer.

I don’t mind people wearing fur, but I’m sorry, if I take the time and energy to go hunting for rabbit and manage to bag a couple, I’m eating roasted bunny for the next week, using the bones for jewelry, and using the organs I can’t ingest for compost. That’s all there is to it. Then there’s the new hat I’d get out of the deal! Or gloves. Warm, soft, furry gloves…

See? I don’t have a problem with this. I do have a problem, however, with penning animals in tiny, unsanitary areas where they never see sunlight and are bred for the sole purpose of Prada, but if they’re out in the wild, munching away and they happen to get in the way of an arrow, I’m making good use of them, and honoring their sacrifice but returning a bit of the little critter to the land to make grass for future rabbit targets… I mean furry friends. Really, that’s what I meant.

Ann Coulter IS a hate crime, and sugar is good for you

Well, it couldn’t last. Ann Coulter’s jaw has healed, and has subsequently been set free to hate once more. After going down a flight of stairs the quick and painful way, she has gotten back up on her leggy, reactionary self and now has the power of speech once more. Hear that? It’s hate. And it’s name is Ann. Joy. I mean seriously, anyone who is herself called a living breathing hate crime and answers, “Thank you” is a hardcore cunt. She calls out some supposedly questionable ballot-counting practices in Minnesota, and how Democrats have been ‘thieving their way to victory over the years,’ yet manages to completely dismiss how George W. Bush actually lost to Al Gore by over 500,000 in 2000. Huh.

Ann manages to be petty, whiny, uninformed, and remarkably vocal all at the same time. Granted, she’s pandering to the Right, which makes her blond ambition a great asset. All through the election she tried to label the now President-elect a Terrorist by highlighting his middle name all over the place. Granted she hasn’t done so since the election. I know I wouldn’t now that threatening him in any way will get you prison time. Not that I consider calling out someone's name a threat, but anyone else feel like baiting a stupid blond into an ankle bracelet and a numbered cell?

Kudos to whoever greased those stairs, though. Next time, make the flight longer. If you manage a major head or throat injury, it might silence her for good. Can we get a committee on this, please?

(For the record, it was never officially confirmed that she fell down a flight of stairs, or that she was truly injured at all. Nice thought though, isn’t it? I’m running with it for now. Correct me if you know different!)

And can I just say Rick Warren was a seriously off choice for the inaugural invocation. I nominate Matthew Ellenwood! No one does an invocation like he does!! Seriously, I agree that Obama wants to show that he is an all-encompassing figure interested in hearing and supporting the views of others even when he does not agree with them. I recognize that, I agree with it, but he could have picked someone who wasn't QUITE so incredibly homophobic. Just a thought.

In other, more personal news, I’ve finally broken down. I can’t stand it anymore. I’m changing my diet. ARRRGGG!!! I hate doing this. I am a creature of habit, as so many are, and changing something as fundamental as my eating habits is a trip for me. I mean, I’m not going Vegan or anything; I’m pretty sure I get homicidal quick. I’m just doing what most personal trainers tell you to do anyway: cutting way down on sweets, increasing fruits and veggies, cutting out most fats, and increasing protein.

But speaking of protein, George and I had a discussion about this earlier today, and he brings up a valid point; there are so many foods you wouldn’t necessarily think of that provide protein. Veggies, grains, dairy, all these are know as good protein sources as well as carbohydrate and vitamin sources. And I don’t care what anyone says, sugar is necessary for the body to survive. It’s VITAL. It’s BODY FUEL. EAT IT. Moderation is always best, but cutting it out completely will KILL YOU. Just so we’re clear.

Anyway, protein is good, sugar is good, fat isn’t horrendous as long as it’s moderate, and I vote that pecan pralines are made a food group so they can be eaten with impunity. Can we get a committee on this, please?

Catharsis

So, I’ve been becoming increasingly introspective recently. I know, some of you are already bracing yourself, and those of you who aren’t probably should. I’ll wait…

There we go, everyone ready? Good, let’s continue.

I’ve been focusing a lot recently on my personal spiritual work. I got lazy, I admit it, and just didn’t do anything for about three months, and then complained inwardly about how vacant everything seemed. I walked around feeling hollow, unfulfilled, and then promptly kicked myself for it. Duh…

So, I’ve continued, forcibly in some cases, my journey, and I’ve come to a series of realizations about myself, a couple that are pretty neat, and a couple that suck.

The first came several months ago, before my laziness. It basically pulled me out of myself and forced me to look at everything I already had to work with. Much of it was raw, unrefined, but still very present, like a hunk of ore that had not been shaped into what it could be. I was using it as a blunt instrument instead of a well-made weapon. It still did the job, but crudely, and without skill. So, my first order of business was to work with what I had. Understand it, work with it, refine it into something functional. Realization: neat.

Another, and by no means in order, came in the form of a person: Michael. Some of you may remember my mental meltdown over what to do with this man a few months ago, but he also awakened in me the notion that this was entirely my own fault. Again. Let me explain…

I love to love. I nurture, I care, I worry, I want to be near it, I want to be a part of it, I want to see it, hear it, smell it, taste it, I LOVE love, but most of all I love loving. And that gets me into more trouble than I wanted to admit to myself. For years. Several of them. Anyone familiar with the parade of men (and women) in my life knows that my luck in relationships has been in waves. Everything starts out roses, and ends up in the compost heap. And it’s really my own fault. I choose my relationships based on my want to love, and historically I have attached myself to those in need of love. I want to show them how amazing and wonderful love and life can be, but this is the same problem women who stay with drunks have: I wanted to fix something. Even though I wanted to share my insane amounts of love for love with them and show them that life is this grand bazaar of love and laughter, I still wanted to fix them because I felt their lack of understanding of love was broken. Hence, my problem. Trying to fix people is bad. Basing whole relationships on it is worse. Realization: suck.

More recently, I realized something that evoked mixed feelings in me. I’ve been running on raw talent and ambition for a LONG time. Most of my life, in fact. I learn a little, work with my own deductive/organizational/energetic skills, and I’ve pushed forward, making my way on nerve, talent, and LOTS of sugar. Maybe not the best choice, but I’ve found that now to achieve my goals, both set for me and those I set myself, I can’t run on what I’ve got anymore. I have to go out and get the knowledge, hone my skills, and basically get off my ass and do something with myself if I want to get anywhere. I thought I was doing something. Apparently not. But I sure as hell I am now. Realization: jury’s out.

And then we come to my blog. My angry little soapbox, my dumping ground for stress, my moments of ‘what the fuck?’ This one hit me this morning, sparking this entry though not the need for it. I realized that this very space I was suing to hide in. I projected pieces of myself, the ones I wanted to world to see however true they may be, onto the screen in angry, opinionated, even poetic snippets, censoring out the sections I didn’t want everyone else to see. In truth, I didn’t want to see them. Thus I have come to the most profound and yet most painful realization of all: there are parts of myself I don’t like to the point that I completely ignore them, and that’s seriously unhealthy. Let’s face it, we all have parts of ourselves we don’t like, be it a nervous habit, a temper, a merchant not to stand up for ones self, poor fashion sense, something we don’t like about ourselves. But me, I just pretend they don’t exist, and that’s the worst habit of mine in existence. I rationalize them, I refuse to look at them, but I don’t’ deal with them. And I as I look back on my old entry, few of them as there are, I realize that even here, I am ignoring the pieces of myself I think others object to, or that are ‘unacceptable’ somehow. Realization: fuck that.

I’m sick of hiding in my own head. I’m sick of wanting people to know me, then keeping so many things to myself that people have nothing to go on. I feel like a failure for gaining 15 lbs in four months, I can’t stand public speaking, and I’m scared to death of being forgotten. There I said it. I don’t feel better. I don’t like it, but I said it.

I also love pandas and knee socks. Damn, that didn’t help.

I hate cathartics. I have a feeling this hate will grow before I get anything out of it. Bummer.

Divine Nation

Since when did ‘Muslim’ become an insult? When did our fear override of common sense, our sense of decency, or our sense of self? ‘Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’ Unless they’re Muslim. Then they get sent to Gitmo.

I’ve been hearing some serious shit on the street of late, and from what I understand basically the people I’m hearing want to turn this country into an extended version of Sarajevo. Anyone out there even remember the Bosnian War and what was happening? That entire conflict was Bosnian Serbs vs. Muslims, and the Serbs were killing every single Muslim they came across, unless of course said Muslims were being dumped into concentration camps where prisoners were tortured, sexually mutilated, then executed. Which, remarkably, is the kind of thing people are not totally against for Muslims in this country. People in this country, of various walks of life, talking in public about how we should just bomb the entire Middle East and have done with it, and how all Muslims should just be shot. It’s called Ethnic Cleansing, and you want to bring it to our home turf? Do they have meds available for that level of bat-shit crazy?!

Forget Muslim as an insult. There was a time when being Muslim was a death sentence, and in the not too distant past. Then again, so was being Jewish, being Pagan, being gay, being a woman and walking around with being covered in a formless black swath and wearing shoes that render every step silent. Need I go on? Give me a fucking break, people.

I wonder if any of the people spewing this filth have ever even seen a copy of the Koran, let alone read it. Some of the imagery is absolutely beautiful, and believe it or not it’s not a big book of ‘do as Allah says or we blow you up.’

Fanaticism is horrendous and ugly no matter who is spewing it or who its being spewed at, and it’s not necessary. We have enough shit to worry about right now; we don’t need to be killing people in our own backyard just because they don’t happen to worship the way we’re used to.

My mother, love her so dearly, actually coined a thought process that I subscribe to whole-heartedly: what if we’re all right? The Jews, the Christians, the Muslims, the Pagans, what if it’s all true? What if this great, amazing ‘force’ (No Star Wars references please, just stay with me) that allows life to exist and created it from what was before is so great and vast and incomprehensible that we simply can’t narrow it down to one form of understanding? What if it more like a diamond, with hundreds of thousands of facets, or faces? And what if each face is a different religious or belief structure, depending on the person or people looking up in wonderment? That would mean that this great ‘thing’ has the power to be whatever we need it to be, in whatever form we need it to take, to understand what ‘it’ is, and our connection to it.

The Divine is not something any of us has a right to narrow down beyond ourselves, because truly, the only point of reference we can ever have in full is our own. So who are we to say that someone else’s belief, or view of the Divine, is invalid? No one has that right, and no one has the right nor the obligation to give up their beliefs for the sake of government, society, or culture. We are individuals for a reasons, and there are as many faces of the Divine as there are each of us, because the Divine exists within each of us. It is our life, it is our breath, and thus it is our words. Are you speaking for the Divine today?