What to do...

His name is Michael, and he’s driving me insane. We met at PSG, aka Pagan Spirit Gathering. The Fest was amazing, but in it, I met Michael. We hit it off relatively well He’s a nice guy, but he wants WAY more From this relationship than I do. He wants to marry me, and said so within two weeks of knowing me! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

But how to tell him? I mean, I’ve been beating around the bush some, but now and then I’ve been dropping Iron Man strength hints about what I do and don’t’ want, but he just doesn’t seem to get it. The age difference between us isn’t that big a deal to me. He’s 22 years my senior, which is a lot, I know. And yes, it did sort of freak my out that he has kids only slightly younger than I am, I admit it.

He just so sweet! He’s kind and considerate and doesn’t understand why I’m not madly freaking in love with him. And if that was all he was I’d wonder, too. But he’s also moody, and jaded, and thinks he knows everything about the people around him and no one could tell him different. Everyone is out to get him, he has no one in his corner when it comes to Circle Sanctuary (the people who put on PSG), or his work (He just got fired). The world is out to get him because he can’t find a job. His marriage is falling apart (Did I mention he’s already married? Yeah, well, he is.). I’m his only hope for salvation or a normal life, so he’s pinning all his hopes and dreams and his entire future on me. I’m trying so hard not to run screaming into the night.

And just now, on my lunch break at work, he told me his wife is giving their relationship until Christmas. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

My time is running out to get out of this without destroying his world. But how to do it without blowing things to dust in the process anyway? What to do, what to do….

7/22/08